Posted in fabo story, The Winners!

And The Winners Are…

I’m so pleased to report that the stories have been pouring in over the last couple of weeks, and there were some AMAZING stories to read!  It was difficult choosing only two winners because the standard of entries was very high.

If you haven’t won, don’t be disappointed! There will be a brand new story to write soon, and more prizes to be won. Next time it might be you who wins.

I really loved all your creative ideas. I enjoyed reading about a mudcake mountain and a Candy Queen, about aliens of all shapes and colours, and about a moon pool and the hologram of a city. There were fat baby kittens that looked like beach balls, and bullets made from candy floss. There were demons, and conference rooms, and an alien called Dean.

Wonderful Lines

Many stories had some brilliant lines in them! Some I particularly enjoyed were:

“Her father’s voice was thunder mixed in with a bit of static electricity…” (Olivia from Burnside Highschool)

“A tap on June’s shoulder makes her shudder and turn around so slowly that you can say the longest word in the world 10 million times before June has moved an inch.” (Katie-Rose from David Street School)

“…each leaf had a pair of eyes, each tree had thousands of leaves, and this planet had hundreds of trees, therefore roughly 200,000 eyes were all looking at her…” (Phoebe)

“The girl had wide but thin silver wings. The spirals on them started to swirl, twisting into June’s mind.” (Lela from Motueka South School)

“…she woke with a sudden startle of little creaters crawly on her back. To June they looked like aliens from outer space, oh wait she was in outer space.” (Ruth from Queenstown Primary School)

Twists And Turns

A few stories had some very clever plots:

Jack from Westport South School had a wonderful twist in his story. The planet was toxic and covered with smog… and that planet turned out to be Earth.

In E Wen’s story, June threw a spear at a man in a space suit, who turned out to be June’s father. (I’m so glad the spear didn’t plunge through his brain).

And in Tara’s clever story, it turned out that June was being controlled by Janette who was playing a video game!

Clever Endings

I always find it tricky to think of just the right ending for a story, so special mention goes to those stories with endings that made me smile:

“…she hopped into the newly mended space-craft. “Thank you!” She said, and flew back home. “What were you doing?” asked her Mum “Um.. Er.. I.. Nothing!” she stammered, “Nothing at all!” (Phoebe)

“June did get grounded, and she was only allowed to re-apply for her Landing Craft License two years after this story ends. But other than that, everybody survived the experience without too much hassle.” (Hannah from Queenstown Primary School).

“Later that night she wondered what planet she had crashed into, and if she would go there again. Well, she thought, there is always a new day ready for a new adventure!” (Lela from Motueka South School)

The Winners

Sadly, there can only be two winners. And here they are:

The winner of the 10 years and under category is Maria from Thorrington School in Christchurch (8 years old).  Maria’s story was beautifully imaginative, and her story was well thought out and had a lovely ending.

The winner of the 11 years and older category is Luka, who is home schooled (12 years old). Luka’s story was very well written and it had a fabulous twist. June encountered a human and we discovered that she was actually the alien.

Well done Maria and Luka! Your prizes are on their way.

Maria’s Story

The first thing that caught her eye was a cave, but it wasn’t any regular kind of cave. It was blue and purple. The walls were slimy and they wobbled slightly. Strangely enough, there was an entrance at the top rather than at the bottom.
The ground beneath June was bouncy – bouncier than a trampoline back on Earth. There were trees scattered all over the place. They were wobbly like the cave.
A skateboard was leaning against the cave. It too was wobbly and slimy.Then right before her eyes the weird cave disappeared!

June looked around in disbelief.
“Hmm,” she thought, “a disappearing planet.” Suddenly, the skateboard that had disappeared with the cave reappeared. “Oh dear,” said June to herself. “Finding out what planet I’m on is gonna’ be harder than I thought.”

Knowing how to skateboard, June jumped on the skateboard and tried to ride it. The wheels were so soft, squelchy and slimy that they wouldn’t budge. June decided to give up on the skateboard and explore the planet some more.

As she was about to set off, a creature came out of nowhere. June blinked twice and another creature appeared. Their heads were as small as a golf ball and they had one eye which took up their entire face, leaving just enough space for a tiny mouth. Their bodies were huge but their arms and legs were tiny.
“Goo wumf smaf jong!” said the first creature.

June looked puzzled. On this planet looking puzzled seemed to mean ‘say it again about 100 more times.’ So that’s what the creature did.
“Goo wumf smaf jong, goo wumf smaf jong, goo wumf smaf jong…”
June thought she would lose her mind if the creature didn’t stop. All she could think to do was to charge at creature. June ran at the creature and it worked. Maybe charging at someone meant ‘be quiet’ on this planet.

“Parf pof wa rafe?” asked the other creature. June shrugged. It did a triple back flip and landed on its belly on the skateboard. Without thinking June did a triple back flip and landed on her belly on the skateboard, right on top of the creature. June stood up and the other creature stood up too. Both creatures seemed to be giggling. The creatures shook their bottoms which June thought might be how these creatures clap.

June heard a rumble and thought, “uh oh, I’m starving.” She just needed something to eat, and somewhere to sleep, and somebody to play with. She made a list in her head:
-somewhere to sleep. My rocket.
-something to eat.
-someone to play with. The creatures.
June only needed to find something to eat and she guessed there was no way she was going to eat what the creatures ate. There was food in the rocket but June was tired of it. Then she had an idea. If everything was so soft and bouncy then maybe, just maybe it was… jelly.
“Could it be jelly?!” June shouted.
The creatures looked puzzled. The creatures seemed to have forgotten what looking puzzled meant on this planet.

Well, June hadn’t. So June started saying ‘jelly’ 100 times, but she only got to six times because what the creatures hadn’t forgotten was that if you charge at someone they’ll be quiet!! So the creatures charged at June! June stopped immediately.

Out of the corner of June’s eye she saw a big wobbly lump appear. It was the cave, back again. A blue and green hand beckoned the two creatures inside.
“Yes. My chance. Possibly. To eat. JELLY,” thought June.

She bounced over to a wobbly tree and licked it. YUMMY!!!!
It was jelly. She ate one branch. With a full tummy, and the sun setting, June walked to her space rocket, snuggled up inside and fell fast asleep.

June woke up when it was morning. The sun was rising. The creatures were already up, nibbling on the skateboard! “Spafa gowa!” June said, hoping it meant good morning on this planet. Then she pointed at the rocket and said, “it won’t go.”
Then one of the creatures said, “sick of jelly.” The other creature agreed.
“Great,” thought June. “They can speak my language!” Then she had another thought.
“Ah, I know,” June smiled. “You help me fix my rocket and I get you some food. Deal?”
“Deal,” the creatures chorused.

They got to work immediately. In no time at all the rocket was fixed. June raced into the rocket and grabbed two loaves of bread and her camera. She handed the creatures a loaf each and then took a photo of the creatures together.

Waving goodbye, she climbed into driver’s seat and drove off. June yelled at the top of her lungs, ‘pof wazy!’ which
meant ‘goodbye!’ “Hmm,” thought June, “what am I going to say to my parents?!”

Luka’s Story

June landed on powdery earth with a thud, and examined the exterior of the landing pod. Yeah, it looked beyond repair, with a giant, sparking hole in its side from the impact of the landing. She sagged.

Her parents rarely ever let her go out, and only let her go this time to get some milk from the nearest dairy, which was only about one light year away. As soon as she was out of sight of their home, she zipped off to explore.

Exploring had turned out to be a bad idea, as she only had practiced flying their spacecraft in a straight line. After about five minutes, a very important looking button started flashing red, and sirens started blaring. June checked the fuel meter. It was nearly empty, with just enough fuel for another two minutes.

There wasn’t a planet in sight to land on.

June panicked. In one minute the engine would run out of fuel and explode, along with June herself. She checked the monitor. The closest planet was 2 light years away at the least.

90 seconds.

There wasn’t enough fuel to get that far. She would only get about half a light year before the engine blew up.

80 seconds.

June suddenly thought of the boost button. That would use up twice as much fuel, but would get her closer to the planet, according to her parents. But would that be enough to land safely?

70 seconds.

June frantically searched for the boost button, her hands fumbling over the keys.

55 seconds.

June found a large white button that looked promising and pressed it hopefully. There was a metallic “ping”, and the smell of crispy potatoes started to waft out of the overhead microwave oven.

“Argh!” June cried. “Not the roast button!”

30 seconds.

She spotted a long, glittering button that she finally recognised as the boost button. She slammed the button down, and the craft started whizzing along at supersonic rates, and she could see the faint outline of the planet.

10 seconds.

June knew she wasn’t going to get there in time, yet she kept on frantically searching for a way out.

5 seconds.

Then – June remembered the escape pod. It didn’t have enough fuel in it, but maybe the force of the launch would be enough to get to the planet safely, or at least get away from the spacecraft.

2 seconds.

June unbuckled her seatbelt and threw herself into the escape pod at the back of the craft.

1 second.  June hit the launch button.

The spaceship exploded just as the pod launched in a blur of noise and movement. June was thrown
back with the force of the pod and instantly regretted not putting her seatbelt on. The pod flew for what seemed like ages before it landed with a crash on the planet.

June groaned and climbed up to the pod’s window, surveying the landscape outside. Masses of green foliage met her eyes. Cool, June thought.

She was just about to open the hatch when a thought struck her – would she be able to breathe the atmosphere?

June looked around the pod for a minute, trying to find some sort of technology to test the air.

Nothing was of any use. June decided to risk it and held her breath as she opened the hatch. She crossed her fingers and took in a deep breath.

The air was breathable. June grinned and hopped out of the pod.

After examining the pod’s damage June decided to abandon it to explore the forest of foreign plants (and possibly animals). After about ten minutes June heard a rustling coming from behind a bush. June grabbed a nearby branch and stepped away. June waved her branch around pathetically.

‘Show yourself!’ she shouted. What came out from the bushes disgusted her.

Pale, dry wrinkled skin, sickly grey hair, and gangly structure. It’s face was out of proportion, with an odd bony growth in the middle, under the sunken eyes and thin mouth.

‘What are you?’ June half shouted, still waving the branch. It stepped forward.

‘I’m a human. What are you?’ it wheezed.

“An alien,” said June, confused. “What on Mars is a human?”


6 thoughts on “And The Winners Are…

    1. Thanks for entering, Phoebe. I really liked your story! There will be a new challenge soon, so I really hope you enter again and we get to read more of your work. Tania.


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