We are off to a cracking start in 2018. It was great to see such a range of schools from all over the country and even an entry from Australia.
Clearview school sent in the most entries… followed closely by View Road school. Hmmm I wonder what they have in common, aside from great storytelling. It was also nice to recognise familiar names from last year. *waves*
I am always interested in how many minor characters appear in stories. Giant slugs, cats, evil principals, dinosaurs, ghosts, rat children, teleporting machines, Helpbots, talking rats and Krispy Kreme donuts made their appearances in our exciting PE Shed Vortex story. And it wouldn’t have been a Fabo story without a zombie apocalypse. (No- we don’t want any more!)
This is a serial story. That means that you need to use cues from the starter for setting and possible crisis situation for your characters to deal with and then leave everything on a cliffhanger. (This term came from stories that literally left their characters hanging off a crumbling cliff so that the reader had to turn the page to find out what happened next.)
A cliffhanger ending sets up the next episode, so agreeing never to talk about the adventure again is not a good ending.
There were a few stories that ended with jumping into the hula hoop vortex. This ending doesn’t really set the stage for the next episode as it finishes on a soft stop. If you add one more line… setting up a setting scene and problem then the serial story continues.
I was looking for stories that did just that.
There were many fine attempts at telling a serial story. Poppy, Georgia, Cherry, Natalie, Cole, Kate and Roxy had stories that came close.
But the winners for Round One are Piper Matchett and Rebekah Lile
Both their stories ended in the best cliffhanger tradition after a great scene buildup.
Their stories are below.
“We could always try to jump back up the vortex” suggested David.
“I mean what else could we do? Any ideas?”
“No” sighed Ella. So without further ado they jumped up and into the vortex. There were lots of loud noises on the other side, SPLASH!! David and Ella fell into a lake. “I don’t think this is the PE shed OR school” grumbled Ella.
Suddenly they heard a loud roar and a strange bird circling them from above. “What is that?” questioned David as they scrambled out of the water. “
Dinosaur!” cried Ella “I’ve only see pictures, but I know a pterodactyl when I see one.” Ella was dinosaur crazy and all of her friends were dinosaur crazy too. They knew everything there was to know about dinosaurs.
Then quick as a flash the pterodactyl swooped into a dive. It scooped up David in one claw and Ella in the other. The pterodactyl dropped the two children into a nest beside a cliff. The first thing they noticed was the egg shells.
“ummm, does that mean… you know…” started David
“Baby dinosaurs? Yes.” Interrupted Ella “It’s fine, pterodactyl’s are piscivores”
“What does piscivore mean?” asked David. Ella rolled her eyes and sighed “Piscivores are animals that only eat fish, for example: dolphins, they are piscivores”
“Ok, ok don’t need to go on and on about it” muttered David
Ella and David looked around “are those baby pterodactyls playing hopscotch?” David asked “No, that can’t be right, I must need my eyes checked”
“I’m just as confused as you” said Ella “I know dinosaurs were… I mean… are intelligent but I never knew human games were created by dinosaurs!” Just then the pterodactyl came back and sat in the next. “Hello little dinosaurs” said the pterodactyl. The children jumped with surprise. “I saw that you two were looking lost and so I brought you here” continued the pterodactyl.
“It talked” said David
“Should I be scared?” asked Ella talking to no one in particular.
“No, no dear” exclaimed the pterodactyl “and by the way, you can call me Charlotte. And those are my children over there. The light green one is Elma, the turquoise one is Daniel, the blue one is Oceana and the dark green one is Gorse. So what are your names?”
“My name is Ella and this is David, my friend” said Ella, frightened.
“Oh what beautiful names” said Charlotte
“Can you help us to get home please?” asked David. Ella and David told Charlotte everything. But when they got to where the vortex was before it was gone!
“Get back into the hoop!” David yelled.
The beefy kids were nearly there, and David did NOT under any circumstances want to pick a fight. The painful outcome would probably result in them getting dragged to this weird school’s dusty office. It would be hard to explain getting warped through time by an old cane hoop.
“It’s not there!” Ella shrieked. She was right. It wasn’t.
“Where the heck did it go?!” David wondered.
“How should I know?” Ella snapped. “Scatterbrains probably set this whole thing up.”
Where did that wild theory come from? David thought. The broad-shouldered kids had caught up. David raised his bat.
“Hey, put that down! We just wanted to ask you whether or not it was you who let that rat loose,” one of the kids said.
David tried to answer. “We were just- uh- w-what rat?”
The smaller of the two (And only smaller by a few centimetres) narrowed her beady eyes like a hostile cat. Somehow. “We know you saw it. And you also seemed to be looking for something. You two were arguing about time travel or something like that, and she looked out the door to see where it had gone. We were watching you,” She snarled.
Ella glanced at her. “We don’t want any trouble, we’re just looking for a cane hoop.” Ella soothed. She was clearly trying the passive voice she uses when she’s trying to convince someone something. It hardly ever worked. But this time it did.
The taller kid stepped on the cat-like girl’s heavy-looking foot. He said to her, “Come on Kimberly, let’s just go. Let them get in trouble,”
She glared at him. “Fine, Chuck, but if we see them again…” She trailed off with a nasty hiss.
David had found the idiotic cane hoop. He motioned to Ella, who pointed off into the distance. “Rat!” She sang convincingly.
Kimberly and Chuck ran off, fighting as to who would step on the poor rodent first. Together, they both dove into the hoop…
It took a lot longer this time, but luckily they came out the other end. The entire P.E shed was gone. They were in a… construction site?
“I think the school is being built!” Ella cried.
“We have to get out before we get seen!” David yelled.
They ran through the maze of rubble. They were running under a crane carrying a heavy load of sharp bricks in a see-through crate. The chains snapped. Clay bricks went flying down, straight towards them…