Wow! I have enjoyed reading so many different and imaginative visions of the future. I was looking for stories with imagination, clever problem solving (how David and Ella would stop Sissy 7.3 from detonating), and with that X-factor (be it humour, strong voice, fiendish plotting, colourful characters or a particular combination of these) that elevate the story from competent into a prize winner.
Please also pay attention to the word limit which is 500 words. Most writing competitions have strict limits and stories exceeding the limit are automatically disqualified. I was a little more lenient than this but there were a couple of great stories that were unfortunately way too far past the word limit to allow (it isn’t fair on the other contestants who completed their stories and had less words to play with).
If you look back to the instructions at the start of this year’s Fabostory competition you will see that we are writing a serial story which means your story should end in a cliff-hanger. I haven’t penalised anyone who didn’t do this – but don’t forget for next time 😊
The following nine stories made my short list:
Caila (Saint John Bosco School) – good use of vocabulary and imagination. I enjoyed the political aspect to this story.
Charlotte (Pinehurst School) – a future in which giraffes have grown tired of the humans and taken over the world. That made me laugh.
Anna (St Columba’s School) – one of the youngest contestants – for a complete story culminating in a cliff-hanger ending.
Harry (Tauranga Intermediate) – the only entry where a future version of one of the kids is utilised. Good thinking!
Ruchi (Pinehurst School) – wonderful humour and a strong voice.
Lucy (Te Mata Primary) – short, punchy sentences kick the story off into a terrifying vision of the future and a heart-racing ending.
Hazel (Turitea) another of our youngest contestants with a complete story leading to an unexpected ending.
Carter (Discovery School) – super dialogue in a complete story which contained humour and tension that grew to the climactic ending.
Georgia (Bethlehem College) – great use of vocabulary and tight writing.
And the winner is… CARTER!
The runner up is LUCY.
Well done everyone and thank you for sending through your incredible stories. Congratulations to my winners I will be in touch to arrange the prizes.
– Suzanne Main
“Whoa, look at this place,” Ella said in awe.
“I feel sick. I’m gonna puke” David moaned.
Ella stood there staring into the future… Literally. David stood bent over with his hands on his knees.
“Is that a hover-board?” Ella asked.
“I think so” David replied. “Anyways, we have to go and return this to that Aramaya Abal-whatever.”
“Okay” Ella agreed. They jogged off with Ratty trailing behind. The first person they saw looked old, maybe around 70-75.
“SIR! Please, tell me do you know someone name Aramaya?” David questioned.
“Ummm, yeah quite a few of em'” The old man said.
“The Aramaya that has one of these.” David said confidently, as he brought out Sissy Version 7.3.
“Ohhhh, you mean ALL of them eh” The old man laughed.
“What do you mean” Ella asked.
“Everyone has one, kid” The old man Scoffed. David and Ella didn’t reply, they turned around and left.
“That was rude” The old man mumbled. David and Ella ran around trying to find Aramaya. They looked left and right, up and down. They could not find anyone named Aramaya, and they were running out of time.
“What are we going to do?” Ella asked David.
There was one thing I noticed” David emphasised.
“What?” Ella wondered.
“How everyone has a name tag!” David yelled.
“I never paid attention enough to notice that” Ella said. David laughed. 5 minutes left. They paid attention to all the name tags. Mike, Daniel, Ashton, Emma, so on, but NO Aramaya. They take out Sissy Version 7.3 and ask it what to do.
“I can find where Aramaya Abalonia is” Sissy Version 7.3 said in a robot voice.
“Why didn’t you say this earlier” David screamed.
“You didn’t ask” Sissy Version 7.3 said annoyingly.
“YES! DO IT, NOW!” David howled. All his anger rushed into that one sentence. David was scared. So scared that he was sweating.
“Aramaya is in the… Real life Cinemas.” Sissy Version 7.3 said.
“The what, um. Where is the Real life Cinemas?” David asked.
“The directions to the Real Life Cinemas are two rights then one left” Sissy Version 7.3 said. They have 1 minute. David and Ella sprinted so fast when they got there the people didn’t even notice that they broke into the movie.
“ARAMAYA ABALONIA PLEASE GET SISSY VERSION 7.3! IT’S GOING TO DETONATE” ELLA SCREAMED IN FEAR.
“5 seconds until detonation” Sissy Version 7.3 said.
“HERE THROW IT!” Aramaya Abalonia yelled.
David couldn’t throw so he gave it to Ella, but Ella can’t throw either. Ella had to take her chance and threw it. It went nowhere near Aramaya, but Aramaya jumped.
“PLEASE DON’T DETONATE!” Aramaya yelled while in the air.
What will happen… She caught it!
“Hello Aramaya.” Sissy Version 7.3 said.
Ella sighed. “Let’s go home” Ella said. They went to the Cane Hoop, to leave.