Posted in fabo story, The Winner

Fabo Story Judge’s Report – Kyle Mewburn

I had loads of fun judging this round. Though I must say it made me feel a bit ancient when I realised FABO has been going such a long time that a lot of you weren’t even born when we started.

I was surprised, inspired and delighted to read your entries. There was some excellent writing – including some colourful descriptions and snappy dialogue. And so many exciting, wacky and downright weird ideas that it was a challenge to pick just one winner.

There were dinosaurs and robots, not to mention Jessie’s Quibbleyxrom’s making another appearance. And poor Ratty met some terrible fates, including being flushed down the toilet by Eleanor.

Two stories stood out. I loved the imagination and drama in Piper’s adventures in the Ratris where poor David and Ella were mutated into rats before being sent back to the Cretaceous era by a devious Ratty. But in the end it was the great, snappy dialogue in Indigo’s story about giants and a plot to kill the Queen that really stood out.

So congratulations Indigo from Ohope Beach School! A prize will be whizzing through the postal vortex soon.

– Kyle

You can read Indigo’s story here:

Indigo’s story

A giant lunged for them. David was caught in his monstrous grasp. ‘’You have entered my domain.’’ the giant snarled. ‘’Now you are mine.’’ He was tall and covered in brown fur, except for his face. This was covered in blotchy red patches that seemed to be alive. They coiled and wriggled ominously across his face. A fetid stench emanated from his mouth, and as David squirmed in his iron grasp, he cried not to gag. It seemed as though the giant favoured a particular deodorant made of onions and boiled eggs. Ella tried desperately to breathe through her mouth. ‘’Humans tonight,’’ the giant said, rubbing his belly.

David and Ella were led in chains to the giants kitchen. Ratty hid up Ellas sleeve. ‘’Move it.’’ the giant bellowed, pulling on the metal links as though he were playing an unusually violent game of tug of war. The chain threatened to choke them both, so they decided it would be suicide not to pick up the pace. ‘’What do we do?’’ David whispered harshly. Ratty poked his head out. ‘’Okay,’’ he said. ‘’I have magic powers that are very rare and I guard this hoop that I made. I did have a plan to kill Queen Elizabeth the 2nd using futuristic technology, so that I could make the world a better place, but you guys foiled it. Which means we’re all gonna die.’’ ‘’Hold on,’’ David said as they jogged along. ‘’You said you didn’t have an evil plan.’’ ‘’It’s not evil,’’ sighed Ratty in exasperation. ‘’Anyway, if we survive this, I promise I won’t do it. And I’m only saying that because we are all gonna die fish face!’’ he screamed the last bit angrily in David’s face. ‘’If anything,’’ Ella panted, ‘’You’re the fish face-you made the hoop. How come you made it so that we turned up here!’’ ‘’It was an accident!’’ Ratty sighed again. ‘’Okay?’’ ‘’Fine.’’ David said. ‘’ Now get us out of here.’’

‘’This is the worst plan ever.’’ Ratty said despondently. ‘’We’re all gonna die.’’ ‘’Quit being so negative would you.’’ Ella hissed out of the corner of her mouth. A giantess with a considerable girth approached them. The green blotches on her face wriggled. Time to chop you up, my kitties.’’ she cooed, as she removed the chains awkwardly, with her bloated fingers. Then with one mammoth hand seized on……empty air.

Ella sprinted for her life as her thighs burned. Her heart was beating faster than it ever had before, her life was on the line. The giant and giantess charged after them, their heavy footsteps shook the ground wildly from side to side. The long grass scratched her legs. Her lungs hurt. She couldn’t breathe. The giants were steadily closing the gap, so close so close. Ella braced herself for the crushing hands that were about to enclose her, and then the hoop was before them, Ella reached out, grasping for the safety and comfort of her own world. and then, finally, she was home.


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